Ever since the first sexual encounter with Sebastian, Meik has felt off-kilter.
He can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t work without thinking about the musician and so, Meik decides to settle into an arrangement with him. There is no love. There is no romance. Sebastian gets a warm place to sleep, and Meik gets to keep his boy toy.
The perfect bargain.
But when Sebastian's presence triggers memories of his first and only love, Meik unravels under the reminiscences that carved him into the man he is today. Will Meik be able to hold himself together or will his carefully crafted badass image fall apart?
Something was wrong with him.
There had to be.
He didn’t know what, but something was wrong.
Sebastian still occupied his thoughts, burrowed into his head like the worst migraine. They’d fucked. He'd deflowered him in so many filthy ways that evening, and during the morning that followed. It should have been enough to purge the musician from his system and go on with his life.
That had been the plan at least. But the best-laid plans were the ones that made for the most miserable failures as he was quickly finding out.
“Hey, are you even listening to me?”
Meik turned his attention from the papers on his desk to Lillie. She sat opposite him, legs crossed and tablet on her knee as she briefed him on...something he hadn’t been paying attention to. “I was listening,” he lied.
Lillie shook her head, pursing her lips. She wore that dark red lipstick that always made him imagine those lips stretched around his cock, leaving stains in dark rings. At least, he used to. And he wished he could keep going down that road, but his thoughts, troublingly, went from her sucking him off back to Sebastian. He’d never found someone, man or woman, who went down on him with such enthusiasm. Sebastian might have had a virgin ass, but, oh, his mouth was sin incarnate. Meik could become addicted to it.
“You’re not listening again.” Lillie sighed. She uncrossed her legs before leaning forward in her chair. “What is it? You’ve got the mopey look on your face you usually get when you haven’t gotten laid in a while.”
Meik snorted. “Are you saying I’m that predictable?”
“We could call it reliable if you’d prefer that over predictable.”
Rolling his eyes, Meik ran his fingers through his hair and sat back in his chair. “I’ve gotten laid recently,” he said, hating that he sounded like a petulant child. He hesitated for a moment, words on the tip of his tongue as he debated whether or not he wanted to tell her about his recent encounter. He didn’t know much about her personal life, but she knew quite a bit about his. If there were anyone he could talk to about Sebastian, it would be her. “But that’s the problem.”
“Oh? Have you not been wearing a condom?” Her tone was disturbingly like his mother’s. “I’ve told you time and time again, never go bare. You’ll end up with something gross, like a kid,” she quipped, and yet the look in her eyes gave away that she was dead serious.
“What? No!” Meik huffed. “I’m not stupid, despite what you think.” He was always safe and always prepared. Most men had a condom in their wallet, in case they got lucky. Meik had condoms in his car, his wallet, stashed around his apartment. Basically, everywhere. He was ready to go at a moment’s notice.
“Then what’s the problem?” Lillie looked amused, and Meik felt embarrassed.
“This guy I fucked. This kid,” Meik began, “I can’t get him out of my head. It’s been a week, I’ve already fucked him, but I want to do it again.”
“So, what? You want to date him or something?”
Meik scoffed. “I don’t date,” he said, tapping his fingers against the desk. “I just want to have him at my beck and call, preferably without any clothes.”
Lillie exhaled through her pursed cherry-colored lips. “You’re starting to sound like a serial killer, Meik,” she warned him.
“Not like that,” he countered. “He’s so...delicious. So pretty. And he was a virgin.”
“He was. He had no reason to lie about it. Plus, the way he gripped around my co—”
“Am I going to have to schedule another sexual harassment seminar for you?” Lillie cut him off, voice smooth and cold.
Meik shrugged. “I mean, the girl who taught the last one was pretty hot…”
Lillie groaned at his response, rising to her feet. Crossing her arms over the tablet, she held it to her chest in a way that made her breasts protrude even more. “Look,” she said, “you don’t have to date him to be with him in that way. If you have something this guy wants, give it to him, and he’ll give you what you want. It’s business.”
She had a point, one that Meik liked. He was certainly not going to date Sebastian or anyone for that matter, but he did want to possess him. Something about the pale-skinned musician drove him absolutely crazy. Maybe it was the way he sucked cock like it was his job while still looking so damn innocent.
“You know, Lillie, you’re a genius.” Meik sat back in his leather chair, fiddling with a pen he’d picked up. “I don’t pay you nearly enough.”
“Oh,” she laughed and then went on, “I probably wouldn’t do half the things I did if I hadn’t been able to get that really nice car with how much you pay me.”
Meik laughed. People considered him a lecherous ass, but he did take care of his employees. Happy employees made for productive employees. Not to mention, Lillie knew far too much about his life for him not to pay her well. “Well, I do try to keep you content.”
“Thanks, boss.” With a light laugh, she turned and made her way towards the door, heels giving a very precise click-clack as she went.
He was lucky to have her; he knew that. She was his personal assistant, and their relationship didn’t extend beyond that, but he considered her one of his very few friends. She put up with his shit, listened to him bitch about his “relationship” issues, and offered advice whenever he needed it. Meik didn’t have many people he considered himself close to, and he was thankful she gave him the time of day.
“Oh, by the way, I want a new secretary. I don’t like this one. He’s good at typing though so maybe find him another position.” Meik waved his hand dismissively. Just because he was grateful for her existence didn’t mean he wasn’t still a jerk.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Lillie’s shoulders rise and fall with a heavy sigh.
“And hire me a new one to replace him. You know the drill by now.”
“I’ll arrange the interviews for you.”
Shaking his head, Meik tapped the pen against his desk. “You can do all of that. Simply pick someone I’ll like.”
Lillie looked over her shoulder at him, eyes widening. “Uh...if you’re sure.”
“Yeah, thank you. You’re free to go now.”
Meik was controlling, and he didn’t often give up power, but he trusted Lillie. Not to mention, he had more important things occupying his mind. He was going to take her advice and make Sebastian his. His own personal sexual servant—Sebastian would be honored, graced as he was with Meik’s favor.
Chuckling darkly as Lillie shut the door behind her, he leaned back in his chair and looked towards the ceiling. Hellfire burned in his eyes, and pure lecherous sin twisted in his grin.
Oh, this was going to be fun.